User blog:Plasmaster/The Rules of For Glory

I have noticed for a long while now that For Glory has certain 'rules', particularly in One-on-One. I figured, hey, someone ought to get these rules written down somewhere so that everyone will know how to play One-on-One For Glory.

Only the following characters are allowed:

Mario- Cape and F.L.U.D.D.

Bowser- Use Bowser Bomb and Flying Slam a lot

Diddy Kong- Just play how you saw ZeRo play him at EVO https://youtu.be/4TyhAXrh6KQ?t=10m58s

Link- SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM, forward smash, up smash, up throw, down air. All you'll ever need.

Shiek- Spam needles and Bouncing Fish

Ganondorf- Use Flame Choke on edge

Toon Link- See Link, omit up throw

Samus- Spam Missiles and Charge Shot, down throw to f-air if they get too close.

Zero Suit Samus- Paralyzer to grab to down throw to up air to up special, or Paralyzer to dash attack to up smash...basically spam Paralyzer and down smash

Marth- Spam Shield Breaker, because you're bound to find someone dumb enough to actually stand there and hold up their shield.

Lucina- See Marth, but spam Counter more

Little Mac- Spam smash attacks. You can't take damage when you're using them, so might as well. Also, use Jolt Haymaker excessively.

Kirby- Inhale on edge; if you decide to copy their powers, be sure to spam that move as much as possible.

King Dedede- Inhale on edge, spam Gordo Toss

Falco- Spam Blaster at the start of the match

Duck Hunt- SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM https://youtu.be/cFrtpT1mKy8?t=46s

Ness- Spam PK Fire and use PK Thunder in neutral. Back throw.

Captain Falcon- ALWAYS. GO. FOR THE DISRESPECT. https://youtu.be/GQu_Uf6gdBM?t=24s

Villager- Spam Lloid Rocket and Timber. Pocket all enemy projectiles and use them immediately after Pocketing so that you can be sure it is as predictable as possible.

Mega Man- Spam Metal Blade and Crash Bomber

Mewtwo- Spam Shadow Ball, use it at start of match.

Lucas- See Ness, but spam up smash too.

Cloud- Genkai wo Koeru.

Corrin- Spam Dragon Fang Shot and Dragon Lunge.

Bayonetta- Easy Bake Combos; spam Heel Slide, and if you get it, use that one combo you saw her use in the Direct when she was announced. Spam Witch Time, and spam down smash on edge. https://youtu.be/j1JERhUoQoU?t=22m1s

Each character has specific rules that apply only to them, but there are some overarching rules that apply to the players themselves.

When you start a match, always charge up any projectiles you might have and fire them out almost immediately. Don't have a projectile? That's fine! Just use dash attack over and over again until you hit them, then go for exclusively smash attacks for the remainder of the match. Once you get a kill, be sure to taunt or crouch a whole lot despite the fact that everyone kills with forward smashes all the time. Don't taunt if you do something actually cool or noteworthy like a stage spike, a footstool, a sick kill combo, or a cool edge-guard. They'll be expecting that, and you don't want to be too predictable. As I was saying, rolling a whole lot is a good way to maneuver around the stage since opponents can read you like a book more easily that way. Holding up shield against obviously powerful attacks works too. After you've won a match, take a replay of it. Take a replay of every win so that you can show your friends that you can spam and win in the cheapest way possible. After you've taken a replay, leave the room immediately, because they did take a stock on you and had you at 90% as Toon Link, you don't want to risk actually losing, right? If they're a scrub, be sure to stay in the room though, that way you can get more replays. Did you somehow lose a match? Report them for no reason so they'll be sent to For Glory Hell. If you're on the Wii U version, be sure to send them a message like 'GITGUD' 'SKRUB' 'U SUCK' 'UR A FRAUD' or my personal favorite, 'U BAD' so that you make them feel bad, because they're totally going to believe that after they completely obliterated you for being such a spammy little asshat.

Note: In case you didn't get it, this is entirely satirical, though there is some truth to it. There are a lot of players on For Glory that do this kind of stuff, but I do realize there are some players that, win or lose, will stick around in a room just to have some fun playing the game, players that will play as Link or Samus with actual skill, players that play as Shulk and Pikachu and are good with them, players that don't spam all day and are actually fun to play against because they are a challenge.