User blog:TheFoolisherFoolishFool/I don't see Ridley being playable at all...

I know that people see Ridley as being playable, but I don't see it happening any time soon. By anytime soon I mean "eventually" but maybe like... Smash Bros... 6?

Here are my reasons:

1. Ridley is too big.

I am specifially mentioning this asthe no. 1 reason because of how absolutely stupid this argument is. Honestly,not including Spin-offs and sports games, when the hell was the ast time Bowser was at "normal height"? Frickin' ages ago. Or maybe not that long ago. I got nothin'

People are all like, "Oh Ridley looks lik a turd if he's Bowser's size" well he doesn't. The only turd here is that person. I mean seriously, Bowser is already known for being "big" so Ridley would not look "stupid" or "dumb" if he was Bowser's height, or maybe a little bigger. It's not the end of the world buddy. No one will complain as much as they did when Samus started wearing heels (and she ALWAYS wore heels. It's on her suit. Jeez.)

Size has been inconsistent throughout the ENTIRETY of Smash. How is this any different?

I watched this video where this guy was all like, "Oh Ridley is too big" and he didn't stop ranting about Ridley's size. IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO YOU TURD? FIND MORE REASONS. IT'S NOT LIKE RIDLEY ISN'T IN BECAUSE OF ONE PROBLEM YOU BABOON. GO BACK TO YOUR MENAGERIE AND RESEARCH. I DON'T CARE WHETHER YOU HAVE A LIFE OR NOT. YOU ARE UNASHAMEDLY BASHING A CHARACTER IN FRONT OF HIS FANS BECAUSE OF AN ARGUMENT OF WHETHER HE CAN FIT THROUGH A DOOR OR NOT. HAVE YOU NO SHAME YOU INSENSITIVE, PATHETIC, SORRY EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN.

On that note, let's move onwards. He probably acted in such a perverse way because Ridley ate his parents when he was little. I won't tell you his name because... I forgot it.

2. He's a clone Death to all clones (And no. Wolf and Lucas are not clones. My blog post, my rules. Deal with it. You turd.)

3. Moveset Let's see what we would give Ridley. We should give him what "describes" him - fast-ass attacks, aerials that rival the Jiggs machine (Jigglpuff) and fireballs. Ridley would be the new Meta Knight. He could be given "weak ground attacks" but Meta Knight proved that "weak attacks" don't mean much. Tbh this was just me making up excuses so you can ignore this one if you want.

4. He's a monster We already have Bowser. We don't really need another one. I mean, we do have a lot of swordsman but there really is only room for one monster. But having Bowser fight Ridley would be amazing though. I would buy tickets to see that.

5. Ridley looks really violent. Ganondorf goes under this category as well, but Ridley look's ridiculously threatening. Whacking him would make him make unsettling screams which would scare the young-ins which would subsequently make the rating immediate "M". Nintendo doesn't want that. They obviously don't want to make one of their biggest money-makers lose a lot of viewers. I mean, this won't affect me at all but it will affect a lot of people. Plus now that it is "M" rating, they could have more... "liberties" with the other characters. And we don't want that do we?

6. Ridley IS too violent This to me is the only "good" reason as to why Ridley will not be in Smash Bros. Let' just say he... killed Samus' parents and ate them in front of her when she was four (Or two. Or something.). He also ate her entire colony, presumedly with her watching. This is what drove Samus on her quest for revenge on the Dragon-Pteradon/Quetzalcoatlus hybrid. Because people didn't know that this source material is the cause of Samus' Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from Other M, people hated it. I didn't really care though. I was too busy staring at Ridley's design.

And when I say "dead", I mean, "zero lives, zero continues, no items, no Fox, no Final Destination DEAD. They are NOT coming back EVER.

Now, why did I mention this you may ask? Because no other playable character has ever done this before. Mario, Link and stuff have never killed their enemies parents, in front of their children along with their entire colonies (implied). Bowser has never specifically killed any of Mario or Peach's family nor did Ganondorf (He killed plenty of people but that can be covered up in Smash Bros. There are implications that he is the result of Link's missing parents but it is never confirmed). Porky due to his selfishness and his dictatorship, indirectly killed Lucas' mother and his brother, ripping his family apart so you can see why Porky would probably never be playable ever. The only exception is Snake who (I'm not familiar with the Metal Gear series so I'm just making assumptions here) probably killed some important people but... he's the main character. So unless he kills someone important which is the catalyst to his "adventure" (I hear he kills his father, but he does that in the end of the game so it's not a catalyst). Bottom line, Ridley is the only character who does something truly horrible to the main character and adding him as "playable" would be really controversial for a "T for Teen" game.

I understand that people will say, "But he's a stage boss so he's technically in the game? Where's your argument now?" but you're not playing as him. And that is what really matters. You're not playing as a terrorist, masochistic dragon-pteranodon/quetzalcoatlus hybrid that ate the parents of children in front of them. The closest you can get is a mercenary with a sense of humour and hides in cardboard boxes or a "king" that can't even be bothered to pull his sword out and fight like a man.

So here's my reasons. I see Ridley as being playable when Smash Bros starts acting mature and changes the rating but until then Ridley can settle with "stage boss".