User blog comment:Cornbombstriker/epic smash rap battles/@comment-26280354-20150510183328

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF SMASH BROTHERS!!!

Peach!

Vs!

Zelda!!!

BEGIN:

Zelda:

You wanna put the fighting princess against a damsel in distress?

Surely you jest! This is gonna be a giant mess!

I've only been caught several times, you're imprisoned in every game

Drop the Rapunzel act, this isn't 1960, your weakness is lame

I'm a Hyrule Warrior, I spit Din's Fire, you're just full of sass

You need your Toads in battle and a fat plumber to save your ass

You're an E Tier at best, go back to your Kingdom and await your capture

Cause the true princess is in the house, and I'm bringing the rap-ture

Peach:

Have you ever seen Death Battle? The experts say my victory is imminent

Don't try to act tough, I could kill you with one Parasol Hit

You spam Naryu's Love like a whore

And your lesbian form Sheik can't help you anymore

So let's go, one on one, who's the true princess, let's see

Unless you wanna end up stitch-faced like this turnip, don't step to me

You wanna diss on Toad? Well don't try to start a fight

Cause you couldn't win any matches without your Phantom Knights

(Samus drops bombs, sending Peach and Zelda flying to the sides)

Samus:

Princesses have no place here, the bounty hunter is in this debate

I'm gonna get Ridley of you too, send you to an early fate

Screw-attack the both of you, you're the weakest women in Nintendo

Caught by slow, fat villains in your first titles, while I'm a true hero

Peach, you're only playable in sports games, your strength is a fantasy

You're so unattractive, they put a black hole in place of your panties

And Zelda's hero is a gay mute elf with Batman's tools

The bombs are falling on you stupid princesses cause you're both fools

(Rosalina lightly descends from the heavens, transporting the three to the Comet Observatory. Obviously freaked out, the three women back away as the ten-foot Goddess alights upon the surface)

Rosalina:

The newcomer's here, and me and Luma are ready for victory

Me against three weak vets is a situation of severe gravity

I'm superior, an S-Rank, the Power is in my hands

Much higher than Metal Suit, Aurora and the girl who becomes a man

The stars have aligned in just the right way

For me to descend and fix your problems today

So let's go over what I hate about all of you

And maybe we can fix the problems of the Smash Bros Crew

Peach, you're weak, not on fleek, and being trapped makes you moody

Spamus, all you can do is shoot, this isn't Call of Duty

Finally, Zelda, counters are for pussies, get rid of your knight's help

You gotta shape up, go find Wii Fit Trainer and help yourself

Hopefully you'll resolve your problems before things get gory

Now I gotta go read my Lumas a bedtime story

So this is goodbye from the Goddess from the sky

And hopefully you'll improve yourselves before Smash Five.

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC... (Lumas assemble the logo and squeal)

RAP BATTLES OF SMASH BROTHERS!!!

Who won? Zelda Peach Samus Rosalina